I met Neil about 10 years ago at a meet-up in New York for fans of blogger Steve Pavlina. He and I instantly connected and spoke for a long time, leaving with each others’ Facebook and other information. Neil and I joined a Mastermind Group together with a few other people and weekly we would listen and give each other advice and support on our businesses. Neil and I have stayed friends over the years and I even got to visit him last year when I went on vacation with my sweetheart I met his beautiful fiancé, Chloe and his adorable children. Neil and I have had many deep conversations over the years and no matter if a few days or months have gone by we can always pick up right where we left off. We certainly also spent some time discussing relationships as in the time we have known each other we both divorced, were single for a while and eventually started new wonderful relationships. Neil always had words of wisdom for me and I love that he has this informative podcast where he interviews many top experts on relationships. Neil is down to Earth, authentic, loving, driven to help people and is super intelligent. I feel very fortunate to call Neil a friend and he is definitely someone that constantly inspires me. It is my absolute pleasure to introduce you to the Aligned and Inspiring Neil Sattin.
AIM Spotlight for Neil Sattin
1) Please tell us a quote that you aim to live by- whether it be your own or from someone else that has inspired you.
“If my body, being, and soul were in full alignment, what would I do?” This powerful question is part of the Infinity Healing practice, created by Gabrielli LaChiara, who has been a teacher of mine for the past four years. In times of indecision, activating this question often uncovers new options – or the courage to do what I know is right. Infinity Healing is one of several modalities that I use in the coaching work that I do with my clients.
2) Tell us about a moment when one of your greatest shifts occurred in your life or in one of your clients’ lives.
When you have courage to face the darkness, you find light on the other side. Recently I was working with a client who was going through some dark moments in their marriage – the kinds of things that often lead to separation and divorce. The word that they used was “hopeless” – and where the energy of their heart should have been there was simply a feeling of dark emptiness.
While it would have been tempting to simply find the light, and try to bring it in, we went on a guided journey into the darkness – allowing that emptiness to be fully felt. And sure enough, in giving ourselves permission to be there in the darkness together, there appeared a glimmer of light. By the end of that journey, the light had become a full connection to the energy of source, and the divine.
That experience in and of itself was powerful and healing – and when we had our next session, a week later, my client was feeling even more alive, optimistic, and hopeful for the marriage. My client’s journey into the darkness became a true turning point to uncover the real source of power and inner light within.
3) Please let us know and describe one to three things that you are passionate about in what you do – (for work or for play or both)
I am passionate about relationships – both the universal principles that can help as all succeed in love, and the quirky discoveries unique to each relationship. Together those things create a specific energetic signature – the key to a relationship’s growth and endurance if a couple chooses each other fully. And, if they don’t, it also holds the corresponding key to understanding and healing when a relationship comes apart. This passion of mine is at the heart of my podcast, my online courses with my partner, Chloë, and my coaching work with couples and individuals. And, of course, my own relationship with Chloë as we navigate lifelong partnership together.
I’m also passionate about being a good father to my two lovely children, focusing on the best in people as much as possible, and dancing as a form of spiritual practice. And I love making time and space to write songs, about the things that inspire me, bring me joy, and, on occasion, the things that bring me to my knees.
I’m actually excited about a lot of things in life – which leads to a very full calendar! 🙂
4) If you could give one piece of advice, one action to take, or one tool to empower people right now what would that be?
Probably the most powerful thing that you can do is to get to know the signs of when you’re feeling triggered. What happens to you physically? What thoughts do you think? What does it feel like, energetically, in your body? When you’re triggered, your ability to respond to situations creatively and compassionately is drastically impaired. Isn’t it a good idea to be able to recognize the signs of when you’re being drastically impaired?!
And then the next most powerful thing you can do is to develop a practice that helps you come back into balance when you’re triggered. Heart-centered breathing, mindfulness, singing, telling jokes…many options to choose from. One of my favorites was created by Peter Levine (who developed Somatic Experiencing, one of the best ways to heal trauma stored in the body). It’s simple, and effective. You take a deep breath, and then say the word “Voo” in a low voice, for as long as you can. Maybe 2 or 3 times. Works like magic – and fun to do with a partner as well!
Finally, the icing on the cake is to notice the times that you’re triggered – in the moment – and to use your practice right then and there to come back into balance in the moment. When you’re triggered, your number one mission is to come back into balance before you do anything else. Unless your safety is truly being threatened, in which case – get the hell out of there first! Most of the time, though, what triggers us is *not* truly a threat to our safety. Once you come back into balance, you will find solutions to situations much more easily.
5) If you were to offer one of your services or products that best represents what you do, what would it be and how can the readers find out more?
A few things come to mind. I put together a free guide with my top 3 secrets for improving communication – in RELATIONSHIP. The reason I stress the word “relationship” is that these are particular ways of improving communication that will bring you into deeper connection, even if you’re talking about something challenging. So these communication secrets are the highest priority when you’re communicating with your partner (vs. your boss, or your mom – though these tips will work in those situations too). Here’s a link to the guide: http://www.neilsattin.com/rela
My partner Chloë and I put together a 7-week online course, called Thriving Intimacy, that takes you on a journey to deeper connection in partnership. In the course we show you exactly how to apply the universal relationship principles that I was mentioning earlier – in fact, we put them together into a framework so that you know exactly where you excel, and where you need to grow. We also help you discover the unique strengths that you bring to relationship, and how to heal the things that get in your way when it comes to connection. You can take the course with a partner, or alone (whether you’re single or in partnership) – and proceed at your own pace. Thriving Intimacy represents a synthesis of the world’s best hearts and minds about how to thrive in relationship – along with what we’ve discovered in our work with clients and our journey together.
If you’d like to find out more about our relationship framework and how to apply it in your life, we put together a free masterclass called “The 50-Minute Relationship Breakthrough” – you can register for that here: http://www.neilsattin.com/webi
When you sign up for the webinar, you also qualify for a special deep discount on the Thriving Intimacy course (hint – it’s more than half off). And if you simply want to learn more about the course, you can do that here: http://www.thenewloveparadigm.
I do offer coaching to select couples and individuals, and can be reached at: neilius [at] neilsattin.com
Oh, and I almost forgot my podcast, Relationship Alive! It has more than 80 free episodes packed with wisdom from the world’s experts on relationship/dating/sex/commun