Our body is truly amazing – breathing, pumping blood, all our systems moving together without us even having to contemplate it. When it comes to our interactions, actions, patterns and behaviors toward ourselves and with other people however; it is to our advantage to be conscious and choose what we want to create instead of being on auto-pilot. My question to you is, “Are you allowing your thoughts and behaviors to run on auto-pilot the same way you know your body runs itself?” We are incredible beings as we are able to tap into consciousness and presence of mind and can choose to do things differently. We always have that power to change what no longer serves us and it truly is not that challenging to do so. Here are three ways to assess if you are indeed in the present moment or acting/reacting from some past behavior.
#1) Negative Self Talk vs. Positive Self Talk – What is your inner dialogue with yourself like? Are you repeating old comments that came from someone else? Do you believe the words you tell yourself? Are there more positive statements you can say to yourself to make you feel empowered instead of disempowered? If you want to lose weight or learn something new, then telling yourself you can’t or reacting from an insult you received years ago is not the space you will be creating a new reality from.
Your action step to initiate change:
- Stop yourself the next time you hear yourself saying something negative about you. Ask yourself, “Is this really true?”, “Do I still believe this?”, “Is there a more positive way to speak to myself so I will feel more empowered instead of feeling badly?” Use the example of someone that grew up hearing they were not smart enough. If you catch yourself saying, “I’m not smart” or “that was stupid”, stop and affirm to yourself that you are smart and give yourself an example from your life to prove it!
- Alternative Action Step: There is also the “rubberband” technique. Wear a rubberband around your wrist and see when you notice yourself saying something negative. When you realize it, snap yourself! This is negative reinforcement. Replace it with a positive statement or something you do believe.
#2) Have you forgiven yourself and others for anything in the past or are you living from that disempowered space of anger? I know forgiveness is a challenging one for most people. I don’t think of forgiveness as saying you love whatever has happened. Forgiveness is letting go of the past so you can move into the present and create a future from who you are in this moment. If you have been hurt badly – chances are the person who you felt hurt you was hurting too. Happy well-adjusted people do not go around hurting people. People that have been abused and have not healed or worked through that abuse will tend to abuse others. We never know the whole story of what is going on in someone’s life and as the wise Dr. Deepak Chopra states, “You must realize everyone is doing the best they can from their own state of consciousness.” If there is something you have been beating yourself up about and haven’t forgiven from your past – haven’t you spent enough time punishing yourself? If you are reacting from your past hurts you will not be able to move into healthy supportive relationships. Not forgiving makes you feel like a victim of your life instead of empowered and affirming you have the power to change it now, in this moment!
Your action step to ignite change:
- The easiest way I know to practice forgiveness is my favorite prayer, the Hawaiian Prayer and form of healing “Ho’oponopono”. Four simple sentences that you either direct from your third dimensional human self to your soul or from yourself to another person. “I love you. I am sorry. Please Forgive Me. Thank you.” This prayer creates miracles and can shift energy very quickly!
#3) Do You you Expect the Best or the Worst from the People and Situations You Are Around? Our energy connects with others long before we are standing next to them. We have energy bodies that interconnect and our thoughts and emotions also create energy. When we get into patterns of behaviors with relationships or situations it can feel like groundhog day. It could be someone at work, a friend or a relative that you think about and begin to tense. We are truly keeping that going when we are not present and conscious of our behaviors. We are carrying that energy, thinking to ourselves and dreading the behavior before it even happens not recognizing we are not allowing for any other reality with our strong intentions.
Your action step to initiate change:
- Think of someone you find challenging or a behavior they have that you have found irritating. Do you expect that person to do that behavior every time you see them? Instead, think of something you really do like about the person before you see them. Maybe they can be funny, are good at what they do – whatever it is – think about it for a minute or two and picture the person doing the liked behavior before you see them next. You will be amazed at how changing your energy can indeed change the relationships around you. Reacting from some old pattern is not allowing new energy to flow or other options of the situation to unfold. I saw this in my own life before I knew any of these things. I would dread going to my step-grandmother’s house. She was not a very friendly or positive person – let’s put it that way. I knew I was going to visit and set the intention to find something I loved about her that day. Well when I arrived she was like a different person. This was someone who was usually yelling and instead she confided in me how tough it was getting old and seeing all her friends pass and even broke down crying. Instead of the anger I usually saw, I saw tenderness and it helped so much to have that moment.
Yes, we are creatures of habit. When those are healthy habits, well that’s wonderful – an exercise or spiritual practice for example. Many times those patterns and behaviors are not what we want. We need to be able to recognize them first to know they are not what we want. Please remember to be kind and gentle to yourself in this process. It will not take however many years this pattern has been in place to change it. It might take days, weeks, but it won’t take years. When you begin to notice your patterns and get present you can begin to create life the way you intend it. The Universe and your soul will thank you in countless ways and your life will flow with joy and ease!
To hear more on this conversation, listen to my recent interview on Energy Awareness w/T Love.