We are constantly receiving messages to keep our lives flowing effortlessly. Most of us are wrapped up in the constant distractions, our lifelong patterns and the WAY WE HAVE decided things SHOULD BE/GO. When we are so attached to our own stories and distractions we are truly resisting the Universes’ wisdom instead of allowing it to work WITH us. The good news is we always have the option to tune in and ask ourselves, “are we resisting the flow or moving along with it?”. I would like to share a recent story in my own life where I had to overcome what I WANTED and THOUGHT I KNEW was best for me to “let go and bring myself back into flow”. I will also share a quick way to assess if you are in flow and to open yourself up to regaining that ease that is always available to us.
About 7 months ago I received wonderful news. The book I have been writing for the last 2 years was accepted by a well known publisher. I was ecstatic but also now had a DEADLINE. I had written a little more than half of the book in 2 years and was now expected to write the next half in 7 months. Everything had fallen into place quickly, I had a series of synchronistic events that led to me being able to present to the publisher and have it accepted, I met the perfect editor for my book and the words were flowing effortlessly whenever I did find/make the time to write. I was thrilled and all seemed to be very in flow.
Then “life” happened, as things came up as they often do and I refused to listen to the signs but continued to press on with my own agenda and schedule. My step dad who had been in my life for 36 years became very ill suddenly and I watched as his life force and love of life dwindled away and left him 40 pounds lighter, a shadow of who he was, until he passed 6 months later, in late July 2014. My children were very close to him, my mom IS my best friend, and being an only child, I knew I wanted to and needed to be there to be PRESENT for my family.
My daughter is beginning middle school and had shown signs of stress as she readies for it. This along with the death of her grandfather and Robin Williams (her favorite actor/comedian) left her in a state of needing more attention and I wanted to be even more present for her and keep conversations going and open about the emotions she was going through. My stress mounted any time I thought about or sat down to write my book, as I had my regular business to attend to, my house to upkeep, the summer that I wanted to participate in and not just watch go by, and the want/need to be there for my family.
In the midst of all of this I was given a blessing from the Universe. A love and a man surpassing all possible expectations. I had written my manifestation list (yup 2 page list) of what I wanted in a life partner but when he showed up my first thought was, “I said NOT UNTIL I FINISH MY BOOK UNIVERSE”! He was everything on my list and some things I didn’t even know existed, but I resisted for all it was worth and watched every single fear come up. In time I did recognize the huge gift of his presence in my life and was able to sink totally into the feeling of love, knowing the Universe knows best and there was a reason he had arrived at this time. He was there for me when my step dad was in his last stages and passed, he was there for me as I stressed out about finishing my book and he proved that even as challenging as life was becoming, there was also love, light and gifts beyond measure to receive from the Universe.
While I was falling deeply in love I was aware that I DID suddenly want to spend each spare moment with him and when I wasn’t with him I was in that lala stage of thinking about him pretty constantly. I knew that also was taking up some of my time but it was also granting me JOY at a time when I was experiencing a lot of pain. I still plodded along, changing my writing schedule to include the lofty task of writing 2-3 chapters a week instead of the 1 as the deadline approached. I did recognize the words were NOT flowing as easily as they had. Now when I sat down to write I wasn’t just filled with the usual JOY of writing but also felt the stress of the deadline looming. Soon-after, my editor who has been so wonderful, supportive and perfect in my creative process told me he could not possibly edit for the next month or so as his work tasks were picking up and even asked me if I could postpone the deadline. I finally had to listen.
In my head I had built up that postponing was some kind of “failure”. I had waited my whole life to be a published author. WAS this some kind of test that I had failed? My publishing company was clear on the deadline and let me know IF I wanted to be published by the fall of next year I WOULD need my COMPLETED book in by October 1, 2014. I stressed, moped, cried, got angry and went through every possible emotion before I simply got very still, put my hand on my heart and asked, “What is in my best interest right now”? The answer came so effortlessly that I was to contact my publisher and see what my options are. Also a KNOWING that putting off my book was NOT a failure but rather me looking out for myself and my loved ones as the last thing I wanted was to ADD to their stress – I wanted to be a help FOR THEM. Contacting the publisher went better than I could have expected. She responded with warmth, understanding and told me if I got my book in by February it would be in the winter catalog instead of the fall catalog. It all suddenly felt in flow again as I felt this huge stress that I had created release.
I don’t know why my book is delayed but I have no doubt it is in my best interest. Maybe it will be better received in the winter. Possibly I will be learning something else that I would not have been able to incorporate if I had rushed to get it done. Perhaps my book will be THAT MUCH better because I will be writing from that place of ease and passion again instead of it feeling like a stressor. WHATEVER the reason(s) – I know it IS the way of flow. The relief I feel and joy and flow I have felt writing since is a sure fire indicator I am once again on the right path. Waiting 5 more months for something I have wanted since I was a child is not TOO much to ask Universe – I hear you and I AM listening.
A HUGE lesson I have learned in my last seven years of studying spirituality and personal development is that when we claim we KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR US and the TIMELINE in which it is to be delivered.. more often than not we are NOT seeing the complete picture and there IS a BETTER way. It is in trusting, listening and NOT resisting that we can see that path and FIND our way. The Universe IS always trying to show us the easiest and most advantageous path if we ARE willing to listen.
The next time you feel “thrown off track” or like the Universe is conspiring against you, stop and get quiet, turn OFF the phone and distractions. Put your hand on your heart and ask WHY this might be happening and what IS the path of least resistance to lead you back into flow. Where is your YES and what feels good to you when you think about the next step? What ARE all your options? Try and notice what you are demanding of the Universe and the timeline you have insisted on and see if you can understand another way it can go that might BENEFIT you instead of creating stress. We always have a path to take that is of less resistance. We have ALL experienced that state of flow where we feel life can seem almost magical – even if for a few moments. When we are on that path we truly do feel in flow, ease, joy which is how life is supposed to be. This is ALWAYS available to us – turn within and ask how you can return to this state and the answers WILL be waiting for you. Then relax and enjoy the ease, flow and JOY this brings! Good luck on your journey and thank you for reading about my own.